Silent Suffering

Recently, there have been many hurtful remarks made on the Wheaton campus relating to race. These remarks were posted on Twitter and have sparked campus wide awareness of the issue of race, and it has started a chain reaction of prayer, support and dialogue about the issue. I have honestly been amazed by the amount of love that the Wheaton community has responded with. However, in the recent Town Hall chapel, where there is an open mic to ask questions to President Ryken, and he was asked about how he thinks homosexuality relates to this, his answer was essentially that race and sexual identity are different when it comes to discrimination. I think I agree with President Ryken, they are very different. When racist remarks are made, the community surrounds those who were hurt. When anti-gay and homophobic remarks are made, we suffer silently and alone.

Most Christians have decided to ignore the fact that they are hurting people around them with their remarks. They have created a systematic approach that allows them to discriminate against groups and feel as though they are doing God’s work. There are a few steps for achieving this state of mind:

1. Label gay people as “special type of sinners”, allowing Christians to distance themselves from gay people, because at least they aren’t “that kind of sinner”
2. Create an atmosphere of condemnation so that gay people feel as though they cannot discuss what they are feeling without being labeled, judged and hated
3. Rationalize that it is ok to speak hateful words about sinners because they are sinners, and sin is something to hate

There are problems with each of these steps which are obviously contrary to biblical principles. First, the only type of “special sin” is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Even if being gay was a sin, it would be no different than any other sin. We are called to love our enemies as ourselves, not to love others unless we don’t like the particular sins they commit. Second, the atmosphere of a Christian community should be that of grace and love, not one of condemnation. Going back to loving others as ourselves, anytime we make someone feel hated and judged, we have failed in our duty to love others. Third, we are all sinners. If we were to start hating all sinners then we would have no one left to love.

Humans have a tendency to love those who we are similar to, and Christians are no exception. We must realize this, and make sure that even though we may not be able to see someone’s suffering, people are in pain all around us. As Christians, we must make every effort to make everyone feel loved and accepted, even if we do not agree with their beliefs. 

Two Pet Peeves

Many Christians have reprogrammed anti-gay responses to bring out when a discussion on sexuality arises. When I first heard them I was taken in by them and believed them, but once I started considering them, I realized that the two main ones that are used are actually pretty flawed.

The first response is that people who are gay can build a complete sexual identity without acting on their sexual desires. This argument often goes like this: "What gay people don't realize is that there is a whole part of their sexual identity that does not focus on their desires. They can build a whole sexual identity around that instead." This argument seems slightly crazy to me. Let me see if I understand this. If I ignore the largest part of my sexual identity, I can form a whole sexual identity? Something seems off here. Should I also ignore flour when I bake something and just focus really hard on the other ingredients? Or maybe I should try to get a car to work without an engine by having all the other parts be really high quality. People who use this argument are actually saying "I don't like the center of your sexual identity, so how about you ignore it."

The second common response is that gay Christians need to stop identifying themselves as "gay" and start to identify themselves as Christian. I am actually extremely insulted when I hear someone use this argument. They are assuming that I'm not identifying myself as a Christian, but I don't remember not having Christ be the center of my identity. Everyone has multiple things that shape their life and their identity. These may be our jobs, school, hobbies, relationships, friends or any variety of things. What we must do is order the importance of these things correctly. My Christian faith is the center of my life and my identity, and to think that it is not simply because I am gay is rather presumptuous. My sexual identity as a gay man is a large force that shapes my life, bit it is by no means a larger influence on my identity than my Christian faith.

Let me end this post with a final comment: God is the cornerstone of my life and my sexuality is not, but both inform my life in a very significant way.