Two Pet Peeves

Many Christians have reprogrammed anti-gay responses to bring out when a discussion on sexuality arises. When I first heard them I was taken in by them and believed them, but once I started considering them, I realized that the two main ones that are used are actually pretty flawed.

The first response is that people who are gay can build a complete sexual identity without acting on their sexual desires. This argument often goes like this: "What gay people don't realize is that there is a whole part of their sexual identity that does not focus on their desires. They can build a whole sexual identity around that instead." This argument seems slightly crazy to me. Let me see if I understand this. If I ignore the largest part of my sexual identity, I can form a whole sexual identity? Something seems off here. Should I also ignore flour when I bake something and just focus really hard on the other ingredients? Or maybe I should try to get a car to work without an engine by having all the other parts be really high quality. People who use this argument are actually saying "I don't like the center of your sexual identity, so how about you ignore it."

The second common response is that gay Christians need to stop identifying themselves as "gay" and start to identify themselves as Christian. I am actually extremely insulted when I hear someone use this argument. They are assuming that I'm not identifying myself as a Christian, but I don't remember not having Christ be the center of my identity. Everyone has multiple things that shape their life and their identity. These may be our jobs, school, hobbies, relationships, friends or any variety of things. What we must do is order the importance of these things correctly. My Christian faith is the center of my life and my identity, and to think that it is not simply because I am gay is rather presumptuous. My sexual identity as a gay man is a large force that shapes my life, bit it is by no means a larger influence on my identity than my Christian faith.

Let me end this post with a final comment: God is the cornerstone of my life and my sexuality is not, but both inform my life in a very significant way.