Where to begin.
Well, I am currently a student at Wheaton College, and this year I posted an article on our school's forum wall talking about my experiences at Wheaton as well as some of my own story (you can read it over there -->). I guess this post is kind of a tl;dr for that essay. Basically, I grew up in a very conservative Christian family, I realized I am gay at a young age, my parents found out when I was about 12, and I spent the next 6 years of my life with a counselor from Exodus, an ex-gay program.
These years of counseling were very difficult for me, and left me hopeless as I wasn't changing (apparently I'm just too gay). I had accepted my parent's view that I had to change, and now I found out that change just was not going to happen. My already delicate faith began to crack. I went into my freshman year of college hoping that being at a Christian college would fix my faith. It didn't. Christmas break of my sophomore year I found myself depressed, without faith and desperate. Seeing no answer, I decided that it would be better if I was no longer around. Needless to say, I did not kill myself, but how close I came still haunts me today.
Since then, with the help of my friends and organizations like onewheaton.com, I have reconciled my faith with my sexuality. I believe that a monogamous homosexual relationship is within the limits of Christianity.
So that's basically me in a nutshell. I'm going to try and post regularly, lets see how this goes!
Isn't it amazing what we think Wheaton College has the power to fix? I went into it thinking the exact same thing. I thought, "Wow. This is going to be such an amazing place filled with such God-fearing individuals. Surely this is where I'll find all of my answers and solutions." In reality, I just ended up with more questions and different sorts of problems.
ReplyDeleteSomething comforting I learned is that this isn't just a gay issue. I think all students go into Wheaton thinking that it will fix Problem X. They soon realize that Wheaton just doesn't have that power. I was in the town of Wheaton this year (I live in Chicago) on the day that the new students came to campus. I remember driving past and feeling so sad for all of the hopes that they will soon find are unrealistic. There is so much anticipation among the freshman. But that's part of the learning process for all of us, isn't it? Learning what we can and cannot change.
I can't state it any better than how the serenity prayer states it:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.