New Videos!

I added two amazing videos to the sidebar!

The first one is called "It Gets Better, If You Let It", and is a really inspirational video done by the son of someone I know on the GCN forums. I love it, and you should check it out!

If you want a video that is, as they say, "totes adorbs", then the "It's Time" video is for you. This video is inspiring, emotional, and just all around great, as well as being really well made. It's about marriage equality in Australia, and is really moving. Also, there's cute guys. Whats not to love?

Enjoy!

Silent Suffering

Recently, there have been many hurtful remarks made on the Wheaton campus relating to race. These remarks were posted on Twitter and have sparked campus wide awareness of the issue of race, and it has started a chain reaction of prayer, support and dialogue about the issue. I have honestly been amazed by the amount of love that the Wheaton community has responded with. However, in the recent Town Hall chapel, where there is an open mic to ask questions to President Ryken, and he was asked about how he thinks homosexuality relates to this, his answer was essentially that race and sexual identity are different when it comes to discrimination. I think I agree with President Ryken, they are very different. When racist remarks are made, the community surrounds those who were hurt. When anti-gay and homophobic remarks are made, we suffer silently and alone.

Most Christians have decided to ignore the fact that they are hurting people around them with their remarks. They have created a systematic approach that allows them to discriminate against groups and feel as though they are doing God’s work. There are a few steps for achieving this state of mind:

1. Label gay people as “special type of sinners”, allowing Christians to distance themselves from gay people, because at least they aren’t “that kind of sinner”
2. Create an atmosphere of condemnation so that gay people feel as though they cannot discuss what they are feeling without being labeled, judged and hated
3. Rationalize that it is ok to speak hateful words about sinners because they are sinners, and sin is something to hate

There are problems with each of these steps which are obviously contrary to biblical principles. First, the only type of “special sin” is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Even if being gay was a sin, it would be no different than any other sin. We are called to love our enemies as ourselves, not to love others unless we don’t like the particular sins they commit. Second, the atmosphere of a Christian community should be that of grace and love, not one of condemnation. Going back to loving others as ourselves, anytime we make someone feel hated and judged, we have failed in our duty to love others. Third, we are all sinners. If we were to start hating all sinners then we would have no one left to love.

Humans have a tendency to love those who we are similar to, and Christians are no exception. We must realize this, and make sure that even though we may not be able to see someone’s suffering, people are in pain all around us. As Christians, we must make every effort to make everyone feel loved and accepted, even if we do not agree with their beliefs. 

A Mountain I'm Willing To Die On

A little over a week ago Glennon Melton wrote an article for the Huffington Post. The article's first half talked about how children are mirrors of adults, and that the bullying problem in schools is due to our cultural climate. Children reflect what they see around them, in their parents, on the TV, and from the culture at large. And right now our culture is saying that it is wrong to be gay, overweight or Muslim, as those are the three most likely groups to be bullied (hmmm, I fit into two of those).

The second half of the piece is a letter from a mother to her son, and it is amazing.

Dear Chase,

Whoever you are, whoever you become. You are loved. You are a miracle. You are our dream come true.

Chase, here is what would happen in our home if one day you tell your father and I that you are gay:

Our eyes would open wide.

And we would grab you and hold you tighter than you would be able to bear. And while we were holding you we would say a silent prayer that as little time as possible passed between the moment you knew you were gay and the moment you told us. And that you were never once afraid to tell us. And we would love you and ask you one million questions and then we would love you some more and finally, I would likely rush out to buy some rainbow t-shirts, honey, because you know mama likes to have an appropriate outfit for every occasion.

And I don't mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated. People, every person, Is Divine. And so there would be celebrating. Celebrating that you would be one step closer to matching your outsides with your insides, to being who you are. And there would be a teeny part of my heart that would leap at the realization that I would forever be the most important woman in your life. And then we would tell everyone. We would not concern ourselves too much with their reactions. There will always be party poopers, baby.

We just wanted you to know this, honey. We've worried that since we are Christians, and since we love The Bible so much, that there might come a day when you feel unclear about our feelings about this. Because there are a few parts in The Bible that discuss homosexuality as a sin. So let us be clear about how we feel, because we have spent years of research and prayer and discussion deciding.

Chase, we don't believe that homosexuality is a sin. Your parents are Christians who believe that the Bible is inspired by God, just like people are. And since the Bible is a living thing, it is in its very nature to evolve toward becoming more loving. We are to interact with it, to interpret it with our minds and hearts and souls. We are to consider the culture and time in which it was written and then consider the progress humanity's made since then. We believe that when those two things conflict, we are to consider the spirit of the law before the letter of the law. And to always choose mercy over judgment. Sometimes this means that we appear to be picking and choosing what we believe in the Bible. It's not really that, exactly, but it looks like that. And many will tell you that this approach to Christianity is scandalous and blasphemous. But the thing is, honey, that the only thing that's scandalous about this approach is admitting it out loud. The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who picks and chooses what to follow in the Bible, in one way or another.

Several years ago I was in a Bible study at church, and there was some talk about homosexuality being sinful, and I spoke up. I quoted Mother Teresa and said "When we judge people we have no time to love them." And I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 which says that none of the sexually immoral will inherit the kingdom of God and includes "homosexual offenders" on a list of those types of people.

But, I was very confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are things that are sooooo totally against the Bible Rules. * And so I just assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to hold fast to the parts that limited other people's freedoms. I didn't point this out at the time baby, because she wasn't a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It's best not to embarrass people.

What I'm trying to say is that each Christian uses different criteria to decide what parts of the Bible to prioritize and demonstrate in their lives. Our criteria is that if it doesn't bring us closer to seeing humanity as one, as connected, if it turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it doesn't help us become better lovers of God and others, if it distracts us from remembering what we are really supposed to be doing down here, which is finding God in every human being, serving each other before ourselves, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and sad, giving up everything we have for others, laying down our lives for our friends... then we just assume we don't understand it yet, we put it on a shelf, and we move on. Because all I need to know is that I am reborn. And here's what I believe it means to be reborn:

The first time you're born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you're born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club, it's about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who's in and who's out at all costs. Everybody's in, baby. That's what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they are quoting is Do Not Be Afraid. So when they tell you that gay people are a threat to marriage, honey, think hard.

I can only speak from my personal experience, but I've been married for nine years and barely any gay people have tried to break up my marriage. I say barely any because that Nate Berkus is a little shady. I am defenseless against his cuteness and eye for accessories and so he is always convincing me to buy beautiful trinkets with our grocery money. This drives your sweet father a bit nuts. So you might want to keep your eye on Berkus. But with the exception of him, I'm fairly certain that the only threats to my marriage are my pride and anger and plain old human wanderlust. Do not be afraid of people who seem different than you, baby. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard.

Chase, God gave you the Bible, and He also gave you your heart and your mind and I believe He'd like you to use all three. It's a good system of checks and balances He designed. Prioritizing can still be hard, though. Jesus predicted that. So he gave us this story. A man approached Jesus and said that he was very confused by all of God's laws and directions and asked Jesus to break it down for him. He said, "What are the most important laws?" And Jesus said, "Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love others as yourself." When in doubt, Chase, measure all your decisions and beliefs against that. Make damn sure that you are offering others the same rights, courtesies, and respect that you expect for yourself. If you do that, you can't go wrong.

Chase, you are okay. You are a child of God. As is everyone else. There is nothing that you can become or do that will make God love you any more or any less. Nothing that you already are or will become is a surprise to God. Tomorrow has already been approved.

And so baby, your father and I have only one specific expectation of you. And that is that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you remember, every day, every minute, that there is no one on God's Green Earth who deserves more or less respect than you do, My Love.

"He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Michah 6:8

Love, Mama

P.S. We thought we should mention, honey, that if you're straight, that's okay too. I mean, it'd be a little anti-climactic now, honestly. But your father and I will deal.

P.P.S. As daddy read this essay, I watched his gorgeous face intensify. He teared up a little. Then he slammed the letter down on the kitchen table and said emphatically and without a touch of irony, "DAMN STRAIGHT."

Which, when you think about it honey, is really the funniest possible thing daddy could have said.

Love you Forever.

Now, I don't agree with everything in this letter ("People, every person, Is Divine" and "Everybody's in" being two of them), but on the whole I think it is pretty amazing. In my opinion, if Christianity at large took this view then we would all be better off. Christians are so often proud of how they "tolerate" gay people, as if that is somehow a reflection of God's love. "If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated." I cannot think of a single instance where Jesus "tolerated" someone. He loved them completely, even his enemies. The fruit of the spirit aren't "Tolerance, Joy, Peace, Patience etc." The first one is love.

I think Mother Teresa's quote is amazing, "When we judge people we have no time to love them." Christians have become too focused on judging who they think is and isn't a Christian. Think about what would happen if people stopped holding the "God Hates Fags" signs of Westboro Baptist, and started wearing the "We're Sorry" shirts of the Marin Foundation. Now that would be displaying God's love for the world to see.

Full Article:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/a-mountain-im-willing-to-die-on_b_1223229.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl4%7Csec1_lnk3&pLid=130607

Videos!

I just added a side bar that has links to some of my favorite (relevant) videos on the internet. They're all related to Christianity and being gay, and they are all pretty amazing. It was a tough decision, but I didn't put any of my favorite but irrelevant videos up. But if you were wondering, Corey Gray, Sam Tsui and Tyler Ward are all cute and they can all sing well. What more could you want?

The "Broadway Singing 'It Gets Better'" one is just because I love music and I love "It gets better", so what better thing than to combine them! There wouldn't be enough space to put all of my favorite "It gets better" videos, but I'll probably add some of my favorite ones.

Want some inspiration as well as some perspective? The "Gay Rights Movement" video is a moving collection of clips that illuminates the gay rights movement.

What happens when you put a bunch of gay men together? A musical, obviously. It is kind of long, but worth every minute. The GCN Musical is funny as well as conveying the difficult pull between two poor choices that gay Christians experience, and the freeing choice that GCN represents.

Any other videos you think should be included? Just let me know through a comment.

Biblical Reflection (Psalm 119:176)

So, this blog isn't just about being gay, but also about being Christian. I'm going to start doing some posts that are just some reflections on some verses that have meant a lot to me throughout my life and my walk with God. The verse that this post will focus on is Psalm 119:176, which is by far the most important verse in my life.

"I have gone astray like a lost sheep;

seek your servant,

for I do not forget Your commandments"

Let’s face it; we're all pretty screwed up. We will all go astray, we will all fail and we will all continue to sin for as long as we are alive. That’s a pretty depressing outlook on life. But we have a promise, we have a hope: God will seek us out for as long as we remember him and his commands. This passage was written by King David, but I always read it in a slightly different way, as if God were saying it to me:

"You have gone astray like a lost sheep;

but I will seek out my servant,

for you have not forgotten me in your time of need"

Now that is a love that I cannot begin to understand. If it were me, I would have grown tired of seeking out servants who will never cease to go astray a long time ago. But God loves us so much, that He will always seek us out, as long as we remember Him. That is the kind of hope we can rest assured in, that will keep us going through the worst times of our lives.

"And now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Jude 24

The Gay Christian Network

In the great debate occurring in the church right now, there are three common Christian stances on the GLBT issue. The first stance is that a loving monogamous homosexual relationship is moral and acceptable under the Bible. The second is that homosexuals are called to celibacy, and the third is that homosexuals should go through “reparative therapy”. Wouldn’t it be amazing if there were a place where all three of these views could gather, love each other, and acknowledge that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ? Well, there is. It is called the Gay Christian Network (GCN), and it is an amazing place. I only discovered it a little over a month ago, and it has already influenced my life in a significant way.

According to their website, “The Gay Christian Network (GCN) is a nonprofit ministry supporting Christians worldwide who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT). Our mission, "sharing Christ's light and love for all," is carried out in 5 primary directions, to impact individuals, families, communities, churches, and the world.”

GCN has been, for me, a support system. It’s a way to realize you are not alone and that other gay Christians are out there, even if you don’t meet them in person. I have posted in threads over there ranging from topics such as “I feel gay when…” to “I feel straight when…” to “Metaphorical Internet Pillow”, and no matter the seriousness of my post, the very fact that I am interacting with people who can understand me in a way that most people cannot is reassuring. Now, if you read my post entitled “Loneliness” it may sound as though GCN solved all of that. It hasn’t, but it is an amazing start. If you are a gay (or straight ally) Christian, I really want to encourage you to head over to GCN and sign up.

GCN has a general discussion place where everyone can post, but it also has forums that people sign up for that caters to the specific needs or beliefs of its members. GCN has also created terminology to refer to the different views on the LGBT debate, which are Side A, Side B and Side X. Side A is gay affirming, Side B believes in celibacy and Side X promotes “reparative therapy”. Side A and B are both well represented on the site, but Side X doesn’t seem to want to love anybody that doesn’t agree with them, so they tend to stay clear (it also seems to be 99% straight people, maybe us gay people know something they don’t)*. Regardless of your view on the issue, you will be loved there and you will be accepted there. In short, GCN is, in my opinion, one of the closest things to Christ’s love I have ever seen.

*If you are side X and are loving and accepting, I am sorry for that sentence. I just have never met one yet.